Jack’s dad, Sam, is going duck hunting and drops Jack off at school on the way. His shotgun is lying on the back seat of his car and his ammunition, waders and inflatable boat are in the boot.
1950 – The Vice Principal comes over, looks at Sam’s shotgun, goes over to his own car and gets his own shotgun to show Sam.
2014- School goes into lock down, Police are called, Sam is hauled off to jail and never sees his car or shotgun again. Counsellors are called in to treat traumatized students and teachers.
Patrick and Mark get into a school yard fight at lunch time..
1950 – Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Patrick and Mark shake hands and end up as best friends.
2014 – Police are called and the SWAT team arrives — they arrest both Patrick and Mark. They are both charged with assault and both are expelled from school even though Patrick started the fight.
Jeffrey will not sit still in class. He disrupts other students with constant talking.
1950 – Jeffrey is sent to the Principal’s office and given six of the best by the Principal. He then returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.
2014 – Jeffrey is given huge doses of Ritalin. He becomes a zombie. He is then tested for ADSD. The family gets welfare from the government because Jeffrey now has a diagnosed disability.
Billy breaks a window in his neighbor’s car and his Dad gives him a spanking with his belt.
1950 – Billy is more careful next time, grows up normally, goes to college, and becomes a successful politician.
2014 – Billy’s dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is removed to foster care and joins a gang. The Department of Social Services is told by Billy’s sister that she can remember being abused, and then their dad goes to prison. Billy’s mom has an affair with the department’s psychologist and leaves the marriage.
Mark has a headache and takes some aspirin to school.
1950 – Mark asks his teacher for a glass of water, takes the aspirin and feels better.
2014 – The police are called and Mark is expelled from school for drug violations. He becomes a drop out and is now in a rehabilitation facility.
Demetrius fails high school English.
1950 – Demetrius’ parents pay for private coaching. Demetrius passes English and becomes a successful entrepreneur.
2014 – Demetrius’ case is taken up by the government. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that requiring English to graduate is racist. Equal Opportunity Commission declares that the state school system cannot act discriminately. English is then banned from the core curriculum so as not to offend minority groups. Demetrius graduates anyway but ends up digging graves in a cemetery for a living because he cannot speak English.
Johnny takes the gunpowder from the leftover Guy Fawkes night firecrackers, puts them in a jam tin, and blows up his neighbour’s letter box.
1950 – Dad pays for repairs, and deducts the cost from Johnny’s pocket money. Johnny gets a spanking. Life goes on normally.
2014 – The police and the bomb squad are called. Johnny is charged with a terrorism offence. ASIO investigates his parents. He and all his siblings are removed from their home. Their computers are confiscated. Johnny’s dad is placed on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.
Michael falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. To comfort her student, she gives him a hug.
1950 – In a short time, Michael feels better and goes on playing.
2014 – Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job, never to be reemployed as a teacher again. She faces 3 years in Prison. Michael undergoes 5 years of psycho therapy.
2 thoughts on “A Tongue in Cheek Comparison of the 1950’s and 2014”
I like it; we must all be getting old.JB
I am posting this from Malawi.
“I fear that soon we will become like the African nation of Malawi where it is illegal to fart in public.”
Not true, regardless of what you have read on the internet. If you think it is true then quote the relevant Act and section.
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